I read an interesting blog entry at Chosen Families.org written by a mom with a son that sounds a lot like Rodney, but he is two years older. She was writing about how her son came to her worrying over some assignments at school and how she responded to his worry. I found it very interesting because I could have written that blog, but with a totally different outcome.
Rodney doesn't seem to worry about school work. When large assignments come up, he will procrastinate until the last minute and then he freaks out the day it is due. I have tried to explain to him that if all he did was a little bit every day, it wouldn't be so daunting, but he doesn't seem to get that. I am just as enabling as the mom in the blog and I usually go above and beyond by finishing the assignment with my son.
I say "with" because I don't want to ever be accused of actually doing his work, but, truth is, I do his work. I know he is more than capable to do the work. I know, logically, that by doing it for him, I do him no favors. But there is a part of me that cannot let him fail.
When I was in the workforce, I learned that it was so much better to allow my employees the "freedom to fail." I was effective as a "boss" when I refused to micromanage my staff. I had to give them this freedom. It's really not a bad thing and it is very cool thing to watch someone master a task and gain the confidence to do it on their own.
So, why can't I do that for my son. Maybe it's because when I tried, it didn't seem to ever work. However, those attempts were prior to his diagnosis and I am still learning how to speak "Rodney." Maybe it's because I don't want to witness any of my kids failing. I don't think I hold back my other two children, but I'm not really an unbiased observer, am I?
Life on Elk Meadows isn't failing...totally.
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