Monday, June 20, 2016

Where have you been?

Where have you been
I've looked for you forever and a day
Where have you been
I'm just not myself when you're away...

Long time, no?  Just like that song, I am feeling very much my age lately.  My children are almost grown, but not yet capable of being independent.  We've started a ranch out here on Elk Meadows and I am finding muscles I didn't realize I had.  That includes the mental muscles as well.  Yet, life goes on.

I wanted to write today.  I have a lot to share, but it is hard to focus on just one thing.  How do I decide?  Flip a coin? Wait a bit and just write about the next thing that pisses me off? Wait a bit and write about the next thing that delights me?  Truth is, if I wait I won't get anything written.  My life is a walking case of ADHD.

Housework.  THAT is truly a loaded subject around here.  I am not great at it, but I want a clean house.  I've tried FlyLady, but I never seem to get past dressing to the shoes.  I live for the organizing shows on TV.  I watch 'em and then get all these great ideas to "fix" the house.  Never seem to get past the planning stage.  When I do it's wrecked in 3 minutes tops.  There are 5 of us living here.  The hubby works out of town a lot of the time, but when he is home, he is just as guilty.  Our oldest sleeps on the couch, so the living room has become something of her bedroom.  Oh, yeah.  Our oldest, Rodney, is now Rose.  She is a transgendered girl.  She is still on the autistic spectrum, so although she will be an adult soon, she is developmentally delayed.  So, her sleeping arrangements are a long story (maybe for another entry.)

How do you teach someone to understand what clean really is?  That has been difficult for me.  Rose and our youngest, Becky, both have hoarding tendencies.  They struggle with throwing away ANYTHING, including garbage.  Coupled with my own irrational anxiety, I have been behind that proverbial eight ball.   I'm in counseling and it is helping.  However, there are still times where I look at the shelf in the laundry room that is full of "stuff" and wonder WTF.  Maybe I don't have a grasp on what I truly consider clean?  Could that be possible?  I dunno?

So, that's all I've got for today.  Maybe I'll be back tomorrow or next month or 2020.  Who knows?

And so goes Life on Elk Meadows...